Growth Spurt or UTI

My 6 month son who has VUR, seems to be going through a growth spurt, I hope! When he was 10 days old he was diagnosed with having urosepsis, and the days leading up to that he was sleeping all the time and never wanted to eat. He almost died, so now when he goes through a growth spurt and sleeps more than he usually does I get so anxious and nervous and I just hope its a growth spurt and not the start of another uti. This has made me into a paranoid mom, even though our family doctor and paediatrician said I’m not a paranoid mom, and I have a reason to feel this way! It just scares me that he has been sleeping so much it makes so worry! ugh damn you urosepsis and VUR!!


Not sure of the career path I want to follow

When I left my children’s father, I was 24, had worked at Tim Hortons for 10 years at that point, I had no future to look forward to. So after the court dates were settled and a thing of the past, I enrolled in school. At first I just did some upgrading on my bio, chem and math. Then I always knew I would make a great PSW. But I wanted to go the 4 credits I needed to graduate high school. So I wen to an adult learning centre, and got those 4 credits I needed and I was finally able to get my high school diploma. Then I went into getting my PSW diploma, and 4 years later I am still a PSW. After that I registered into a pre-health science course because I wanted to be a nurse, but I had always struggled in math and fractions are my enemy. So I decided not to become a nurse, even though I think about it a lot. I decided to become a RMT. I always enjoyed giving massages, and when I registered for the program I was dating someone for a month, and had no idea I would end up marrying him, but I knew being an RMT would give me the freedom of having a life with my children with me being a single mom.

But life happened, and my husband and I decided to try for a baby, his first after we got married. I didn’t think it would happen so so soon. We got pregnant after 5 months of trying, and then I had to stop going to school and work almost full time so I could make sure I had those 600 hours to get the year off on maternity leave. So I finished my fourth semester and I have five and sixth semester left to finish and graduate the massage therapy program. I was already getting burnt out in the fourth semester, and my husband and I were talking about if I should take off some time to re charge anyways. I should of graduated in April 2015, but I didn’t go back for the fifth semester in Sept 2014 because I was working. Now its been a year and a little bit since I’ve been out of school, and having been in school for 5 years straight I am just so burnt out. I am not sure I want to finish that one year left. But then I have 41.000 in student debt that would really be for nothing if I didn’t go back. Being a  PSW is a fine career and it pays decent (really for the amount of work we have to do, we get paid shit, but that’s another story)

I don’t want to feel like a failure if I choose not to go back, and I also don’t want me husband to think I am a failure because I don’t want to go back. He has said that I don’t need to go back if I don’t want to. I just feel like I would have all these people and ex’s thinking and looking down on me that I wasn’t good enough, not smart enough o pull that off and to become an RMT. I know those are my own insecurities shining through, but then I also have those hateful words in the back of my head of what an ex said, that I would never amount to anything, I am a nothing and will always be a nothing.  But most of all, I don’t want to feel like a failure to my children and my husband because thats what is most important.

So I’m not sure as to what path I’m going to lead into, I just hope I will be supported in any decision I make.

Back to school

Now that the first week of school is in, and my children are getting into their routine. They have simply forgot to do their chores right after school and instead of doing their chores they go outside and play with their friends. They are eleven and ten and one has to clean the kitchen and the other child has to clean the living room, sweep each of the room and make sure their room is clean. Not too much, so I showed them a chore lit of what their age should be doing. They were astonished at how much they should be doing. But they quickly forget how easy they have it.

Don’t get me wrong, I love cleaning, it makes me feel better, it clears my head, but when I have a 6 month old to deal with all day who has been cranky and clingy cleaning makes it hard to do.

So I just breathe and try to remember they are just kids and they want to play. But I want to teach them and get them ready for when they live on their own, so they aren’t slobs! hahaha

My life with a husband who loves to work and do tons of overtime

When I started dating my husband I was so not used to a ‘man’ working, let alone working tons of hours and doing overtime.

Here is my back story; I started dating this guy when I was 15, and he was 19. We moved in together when I was 17, and I got pregnant at 18 and I had my child when I was almost 19. Though he worked then, he would say he was working overtime but later I found out he would leave work early and go to his buddies house and get high (pot, cocaine) We then moved in with his family and within a year and a half we had two kids, and here in Canada if you work at least 600 hours in a 52 week period you can take a year off on maternity leave. Well with both my kids I was able to have that year off, but with my first I had to go back to work when he was 8 months old, and my second I had to go back when she was 2 months old. Because he rarely worked, he would call in sick all the time, and obviously we had bills and children to provide for. Well then we moved out on our own, and within a year we had to move back i with his family because he actually quit his good paying job to play World of Warcraft! So that meant I somehow had to pay for rent, hydro, water, gas, groceries, car payment, car insurance, gas for the car to get to and from work, anything the kids needed, on a 800 dollar pay cheque every two weeks. So after a few months of moving back in with his family he still played WoW all day long while I was working two full time jobs, and I had, had enough plus he was abusing me in all forms and the day I left him was the day he choked me in front of our children.

So now back to my story!

So when my husband and I started dating he had just been an RN for a few months, and I remember him telling me he feels rich because he wasn’t used to making so much money from a job. But then he moved in and then had to provide for my two children, myself and him. From someone coming from just him and spending his money on whatever he wanted after bills were paid he soon realized he wasn’t so ‘rich’

Now 3.5 years later he is still doing his regular hours and lately is working a lot of overtime because we recently moved into a new house and the rent is 200 dollars more a month, but its 4 bedrooms, 2 full bathrooms which is what we need with 3 kids now. As well as my husband 2007 car which is bought new when he started his BScN is now falling apart and is now leaking gas. So we now have to get a new car and will have 2 car payments. Since I’m on mat for another 6 months and getting 1360 a month, he needs to go so much overtime to make sure he can cover the new car payment.

We relationship/marriage is strange, he is the one who loves to spend money where as I don’t like spending money and I try to save it as much as I can. I am not sure if that is because I have been a mother for almost 12 years, and I rarely had any money for years, plus I don’t like spending money on myself. Which my husband makes sure I do because he says I make sure everything is done in the house and I am a home provider for our children at the moment and I do a lot for myself, and I should treat myself.

So I decided to do this blog today, because in the peat two weeks I haven’t seen my husband, expect on his days off when he decides not to do overtime. He leaves at 530am and is home around 8pm, but if he decides to do a 16 hour shift he doesn’t get home until midnight, and up to go back to work and leave at 530am again. Then he texts me today and and says he didn’t get overtime today (of course its a stat holiday so everyone showed up for their shift because its double time) but tomorrow is his day off and he says I’m working 4 hours tomorrow and then we are going car shopping. I was not frustrated but upset because also the past two weeks our infant has been teething and going through a growth spurt. He will be six months next week, and he is up every 2-3 hours at night and then only naps two times throughout the day for 30 mins. I am exhausted, and I was hoping he would get up all night so i could sleep because I am starting to not be able to focus and I have been getting a constant headache that is from the lack of sleep. So I express this to him, and he said I’m doing so much and that he will get up with him all night and that he will just be tired while at work. I appreciate that, but its more the 45 mins drive to work and from work I’m concerned about, him driving while getting up with our child.

As much as I would love to sleep through the whole night and sleep in at times, I know my husband is doing all this overtime so he can provide for his family for the necessities we need and for the things we want. ❤

Our life with a son who had Urosepsis and has Vesicoureteral Reflex

My third child, my husbands first had to be born at 37 week due to me having ICP – which is intrahepatic cholestatsis of pregnancy. After 37 weeks your risk of stillborn increases significantly. Anyways, so everything was fine and he was born weighing 6 pounds 9oz and 51cm. I was breast feeding and I made that my wish because I couldn’t with my other two.

Hawkston never really wanted to eat at the hospital. The nurses said it was normal, and that he would wake up to eat when he was hungry. I was pumping as well because I wanted to make sure I had lots of milk and I wanted to have a supply in the freezer. The nurses kept saying that they don’t eat a lot so whatever he was getting he was getting enough. He had jaundice as well, so they wanted to keep an eye on that as well. He was born just after midnight on a saturday and Sunday afternoon we were discharged, but he bilirubin had gone up Sunday morning. The doctor on call said to come back tomorrow morning to get his blood checked again and to check his weight.

So we came back to the hospital Monday morning, and he lost some more weight and his bilirubin had gone up again. So they called our family doctor, who told us to do the same thing tomorrow, but needed to start feeding every 2 hours no matter what. So Tuesday comes around and we go back to the hospital to check his weight and bilirubin. He lost more weight and his bilirubin was up again. So our family doctor said we needed to supplement with formula and to go back to the hospital Wednesday. Wednesday comes and they check his weight and bilirubin again and he once again lost weight and his bilirubin went up again. So we were told he needed to go under the UV lights, but we could do it from home. They gave us the UV machine and told us he needed to be on it 24 hours a day. And to come back tomorrow to check his levels and weight.

Well his levels were up again and lost more weight, so he needed to be on the UV lights again, in total it was 3 days he needed to be under the UV lights.

By day 9, I was so exhausted because of the strict every 2 hour feedings and going to the hospital every day and getting more upset and discouraged that nothing was helping my baby gain weight. So at day 9, after leaving the hospital in the morning we decided that I would stop nursing and I would continue to pump but just freeze it, and I would just give Hawkston formula, hoping that the formula would get him to gain weight and I was thinking something was wrong with my breast milk.

So the next day Hawkston is 10 days old, and once again we go back to the hospital to check his bilirubin and his weight. His bilirubin has gone down by a little, but now he has lost 2 pounds since he was born, and he was really sleepy that day. I mean he was always sleepy since he was born, but day 10 he was extra sleepy which we didn’t know why.

So they call our family doctor and he tells us to come in and he will get us to to figure out whats going on. We get to the doctors, and he isn’t really sure whats going on, so he told us to go back to the hospital and he ordered some blood work to check Hawkston’s WBC, RBC, electrolytes, sodium, potassium, a urine sample and a few other things.

We get back to the hospital and they do the blood work and put in a catheter in to get the urine sample. I wait for the results, and texting my husband throughout the day what is happening, because he is at work, at the hospital we go to.

So within an hour we had the results that Hawkston had a huge blood infection. So he was immediately admitted, and his perfusion was greater than a 7. Which is very bad, because it means that anything greater than a 7 means that blood and fluid isn’t going to the organs properly. He was set up on IV saline and 2 IV antibiotics until they did more testing to figure out what the blood infection is from. They were still waiting for the results from the urine. He also was put into the isolette incubator to get him warm and organs working properly. We were told if he didn’t come in when we did he would of died by the afternoon because his organs had already begun to shut down.

So I text my husband to let him know what is happening, he then tells his manager and explain what is happening and he got the ok to leave work. So he comes down to the peads unit to be with Hawkston and I. Dr. Roberts is the paediatrician that admitted Hawkston and she explained what they were going to do. They needed to do a lumbar puncture to see if he had bacterial or viral meningitis. They said we could stay there while they did it or we could leave. We both decided we didn’t want to see that, even though we are both in the medical profession, it is much harder to see and watch when it is your own child. My husband and I decided to go out dinner because we both hadn’t eaten all day.

I got back while my husband went home because my mom was watching our other kids, and Hawkston wasn’t in the room he was in when we left. He was now in the room right across from the nurses station, which I knew was a bad sign. It was now past the shift change, so the nurses looking after Hawkston through the night came to me and told me that he didn’t even cry when they did the lumbar puncture, which is never a good thing, so they wanted to watch him over night so he was across from the nurses station.

The next morning my husband came to the hospital because we knew Dr. Roberts was going to come by and talk to us. Dr. Roberts told us that the urine came back and he had a UTI, which caused the blood infection which is called urosepsis. She had ordered a brain ultrasound to help rule out meningitis since the lumbar puncture cultures take up to 5 days to confirm. As well as she ordered a kidney ultrasound to see if there was any damage to the kidneys. (both ultrasounds were negative)

So they where changing one of his antibiotics, but he was still going to be on 2 through IV. Dr. Roberts said he was in the hospital for a minimum of 2 weeks but could be longer. She gave my husband a doctors note explaining a parent needed to be there at all times. So he gave that note to his manager and took the last week he had left from that job (he got another full time job at a mental hospital with more money) and used up his stat holidays.

So we would take turns being there, though my husband would have to start his new job, so I would be there all day and all night until he got to the hospital and then he would sometimes stay overnight but then I would have to be back at the hospital for 5am so he could go home have a shower and leave for work. On his days off we would take turns spending the night there.

Hawkston was allowed to leave after 10 days, just in time for easter! We were a happy that we went from hours away from dying, to finally eating properly, to being able to get discharged a few days ahead of schedule!

Well a week later after Hawkston was discharged he had a low grade fever of 37.5C and wasn’t himself. So I took him in to the peads unit and they said they would do some blood work and do a urine sample again. The paediatrician working that day was Dr. Runkle and she said because my husband and I are in the medical field and we are amazing parents for being on top of things she felt it was ok that while we wait for the results, if there was anything to report that we could wait at home instead of admitting Hawkston and waiting. The blood cultures take 24 hours to come back and the urine takes 48 hours to come back. Well 2 days later my husband gets that phone call in the morning while I’m making breakfast that Hawkston has another UTI. my heart sank, we thought this would be a thing of the past, and wouldn’t have to think about it again. But we were also glad I knew something was wrong and took him to get checked. So back we go to the hospital. Dr. Gordon was the paediatrician who was working that day. They had tried 10 times to put in the IV but they couldn’t get it in. The tried in both sides of his head again, and had to re shave the spots they used the last time, they tried in both of his feet, in his forehand, both of his hands, and tried once again in his head. But once they got it in and flushed it, it would blow. So they decided that was enough and would put him on oral antibiotics.

So because he would be on the oral antibiotics they decided he only needed to be in the hospital one night to make sure he was taking the medication down and not throwing it up. He was on macrobid, but he was throwing it up so they put him on trimethoprim and he was ok on that.

So Dr. Roberts ordered a VCUG ultrasound to confirm if he had urinary reflux, because he has had 2 utis, they figured thats what Hawkston had.

Hawkston was 2 months old when he had the VCUG ultrasounds done, and my husband said he definitely had reflux, you could see if go back up to the kidneys. So about a month later we had an appointment with Dr. Roberts and she confirmed with us Hawkston has bilateral Vesicoureteral reflex. In his left ureter is a grade one, so the urine only goes up half way to the kidneys, his right ureter is a grade four, so the urine goes up right to the kidney, and thats why he had 2 utis by 1 month old.

So he has to be on daily antibiotics until he is around 5-6 then they will check by an ultrasound to see if he has grown into the ureters, if not they will have to do surgery to correct it.

We recently were referred to Sick Kids Hospital, because Orillia Soldiers sends their patients to Sick Kids when they can’t help them. The urologist at Sick Kids told us after Hawkston is 1 year old (that is in 6 months!) there is no scientific evidence that proves that it is beneficial to be on the medication longer than a year old. My husband and I are not sure about that because we don’t want to go through what we went trough already, I am already the paranoid mother that when Hawkston doesn’t eat for 24 hours I’m in the hospital trying to get answers as to why!

Hawkstons first few months of his life has been a roller coaster for us, but we honestly wouldn’t any other way! He kept us on our toes thats for sure!

Today was a challenging day

Most of my days of late have be proved difficult, challenging and hard, but I had to truly open my (new but old) mommy eyes and see things in a different light.

When my third child was born, he lost 2 pounds by the time he was 10 days old, and we were on a strict every 2 hour feeding no matter what breast and formula. So he slept on our chest in those two hours because what was the point of putting him in his bed when you just have to pick him up. Then he was in the hospital from 10 days old to 3 weeks, so he slept in the hospital bed with us because we almost lost him, every moment was cherished.  Then having to lay with us in order to fall asleep and then putting him in his bassinet.

So from being in a nice squishy warm home from 9 months and enjoying every moment of it probably, while I was in agony with pain, heart burn, sleepless nights for days, being kicked in the ribs and punched in my groin, then to be out in the world and being constantly cuddled for the first few months of his life, I know understand why he is so clingy and wants his mommy!

So we bought a woven wrap so I could at least get things done around the house, or just to walk around without having to hold my new babe. We also bought a silk ring sling for variety, but he was getting more active and didn’t like to be so confined in the wrap and sling, which was upsetting because we spent over 300 dollars for those! He didn’t like the 90 dollar swing we got him, he just liked to be held.

So the laundry rarely got done, I would do a load but then I would forget about it a few times and it would be washed a few more times. The dishes would pile up, the house would be a right off between baby toys and my other kids stuff. I never had time to shower every day, so I would go 2 days without showering and by day 2 I would just let him scream in his crib until I had a shower. I mean, I know I could of showered when he went to bed, but seriously that was too much effort and energy, so I would always make my way into bed as well, even if it was just to read a book or watch tv, the house chores could wait yet another day.

I am so glad my husband understood, even know he never really truly understood what I go through in a day, he never said a word about the laundry never getting done (obviously I did do it when everyone was running out of clothes to wear, it was rarely folded haha) the house was a mess, but he loved me anyways and need said anything, but I love you and you are an amazing mother.

My mom funny enough mentioned to me about his mamaroo swing, and she said her and my step dad would get it for us. It took awhile for my son to actually like it and didn’t cry within a minute of being in it. On those tough, challenging days I would try the mamaroo, the crib, our other swing, the bassinet, the sling and wrap but nothing would work, until I pick him up!

Once I am holding him, he would stop crying and then get all cozy and lay his head on my chest or on my shoulder.

But then, right at that moment I become frustrated because I cannot begin or try to finish the household chores, shower, relax or even go pee! He would cry for hours if I let him, and then I remembered my first son was the same way, and he was colic until he was 6 months. It turns out my third was colic until he was 4 months, but he is still clingy.

But then I realize that of all the things I felt like I needed or wanted to get done around the house, Hawkston just wanted to be held and comforted by me. I mean thats what he is used to since while in the womb, why would it stop now that he’s out, especially right now when he is teething for this third tooth.

So today, while he is screaming his face off in the mamaroo while having been changed, fed, given Tylenol, he need for me holding me hit me like a huge weight on my shoulders. He is needing something, something I am not sure of what he wants. Currently he is going through this stage where wen you try to cuddle him he arches his back and slide down. So today I was going to trying to unpack boxes and try to put the rooms together, boxes all thrown about, the counter top cluttered, the living room a mess with all his toys, and all I can think about is drinking a bottle of wine (which I don’t have ;( ) I sit here trying to remember that while it to tough being a mom, is it hard being a baby, they can’t talk to you, and they communicate by crying, which seemed like nothing worked today, no swings, no walking around the house, no laying on our bed, no going for a walk, advil and Tylenol didn’t help, dry diaper wet diaper, no clothes, clothes on nothing worked!

Today as I sit here writing this blog, I have puke in my hair, my hair in knots from Hawkston pulling my hair, I did manage to shower this morning in his 20 min nap, but as the day went on nothing worked and he just screamed, but I need to remember as much as these days like this frustrate the hell out of me, soon enough I’m going to be craving these moments as he growing up so fast, and before I know it he will be in school.

Being an experienced mom, I thought I would have more patience considering my other children are 11.5 and 10 years old. But in all honestly I think I have less patience. I’m not sure as to why, but this time around I have an amazing husband who actually helps me when he can, and I very much appreciate it. I know I can expect to much from him, but he takes it in stride.

Being a mom, takes a lot of responsibility, courage, determination and patience. No one ever said it would be easy, we all as moms will get frustrated, be exhausted and have some frustration. We have this little human being who looks up to us in every way to support them. We all have those moments when we swear, say you’re done and text your husband and tell him how bad your day was, (which I already did haha) and burst into tears because you just can’t take anymore. Just remember and look at your precious little human being, that they are also going through some huge changes, and probably just as frustrated as you are.

So cherish these small moments when they are babies, because I know it won’t last long at all.

PS, once I got my son into the bath before bedtime he was all smiles and giggles and talking away! It also took me all day to write this blog lol

The 37 week induction

Well, my husband and I knew that at 38 weeks we would have to be induced because of the ICP, but when I had my 36 weeks 6 day OB appointment that husband was able to come to, my OB sits down asks how I am feeling and doing, and then gets straight to it. He says I have been doing more research since your appointment last week, and after 37 weeks is when the chances of stillborn risk increases significantly, so for that reason I want to induce you tomorrow morning. You should of seen my husbands face, it was priceless and I managed to get a picture of it. My OB said he would give us a few minutes to talk about it and he would go talk to the next patient of his. My husband and I both agreed we wouldn’t be able to live with ourselves if during the night while I was ‘sleeping’ and our bay passed away. So my OB came back and we told him we are going to be induced tomorrow, so he called the hospital and asked who was on call that weekend (because the next day was Thursday and he was off that weekend) and it was Dr. Will. So they booked in for 8am induction.

So Benton drives us to the hospital and we both had barely slept, but we had coffee to get us through the day haha. We get all checked in and they set me up to the monitor to check the heart rate of the baby. So we just had to wait for my OB Dr. McKinney go get to the hospital. He does a membrane sweep again, yesterday at his office he did one, which helped because I had lost my mucus plug just before going to the hospital. He gets the nurse to get the cervidil, and he uses 2 doses, and does another membrane sweep. I have one big contraction and that was it. Dr. McKinney says if nothing happens, and I don’t go into labour, to come back in tomorrow morning at 8am and they will break my water.

The nurses told me I had to stay hooked up to the monitor for an hour and if nothing else happened then we could go home. Well nothing happened right that one big contraction, so we got to go home. It was around 1030am, and Benton has asked me what I wanted to eat, since we weren’t hungry before leaving for the hospital. I said, Cora’s so we went to Cora’s. It was delicious as always, and then we drove home and met Benton’s mom at our house. She visited with us for a few hours, she was hoping Hawkston was going to be born, but that didn’t quite work out.

I started having contractions around 5-6pm and they were about 2-3 minutes apart, but Benton and I were watching the latest episode of Grey’s so I didn’t want to say anything, until he noticed I was in pain. So we went back to the hospital and they hooked me up to the monitor and I was contracting but the nurse said it was just from the gel they used. They let us go back home and told us to come back for 8am so they could break my water. The contractions were still 2-3 mins apart all night and didn’t stop until 3am, so I barely got any sleep.

So we get there for 8am again and check in, and against hey set me up to the monitor, apparently I was contracting a little bit but I didn’t feel them. We wait for Dr. McKinney to come by and break my water. He comes in and does yet another sweep and tells me he’s been told to not break my water yet as they are about to do an emergency c-section and the nurses are going to be busy. So Dr. McKinney says he needs to go to his office and work and will come back in a few hours. So he comes on his break and by then they had a few extra emergency c-sections coming from the ER, so he was told I have to be put on the back burner. He said he would come back on his lunch break. So again he comes on his lunch break and the nurses still busy, but they said in the next few hours they should be good. So he told us to go get some lunch and to be back in an hour or so.  So Dr. McKinney comes back around 2pm, and we got the go. So he does another sweep and then gets me all set up and breaks me water at 235pm. I really hate that feeling, I had it done with my second one and it feels like you are peeing yourself and it feels like it doesn’t stop.

Then my contractions are instant, they were every 3 mins and lasting 35 seconds. So the nurses told me to walk because I was only 2cm dilated. So I walked, but I couldn’t do it for long because I was in a lot of pain, and I was just exhausted already. They moved in me into the labour room around 4pm, and then I got the nurse to call Dr. McKinney if I could have a bath, he said I could. Benton ran the water, and I couldn’t stay in it long because he made it too hot 😛 I tried the rocking chair to help relax me but that didn’t work, so I just got into the bed and I stayed there.

So it was around 630pm and Dr. Will was now call (Dr. McKinney was off) so Dr. Will checked me and I was 2.5cm dilated. I was so upset, because I know you have to get to 10cm before you can give birth, and I also knew that the longer I was in labour the more likely I was going to have to have a c-section because once your water breaks you can get an infection if your in labour to long, and the baby can have D cells which mean the baby isn’t doing good. So I asked for the epidural. I had an epidural with my first but it didn’t work, so I was hoping it would this time. So the nurse called the anesthesiologist, but he was in the OR and was going to be there for another few hours. And my mom and I laughed because the same thing happened with my second, I asked for the epidural and the anesthesiologist was in the OR until 1pm, and I had my daughter at 101pm. So the nurse called another anesthesiologist who was off, thankfully he said he would come in and do my epidural! Again it didn’t work, the nurses said it was from S1 down that it worked so I didn’t feel anything around my vagina. They also hooked me up to pitcin as well

It was around 10-1030pm when Dr. Will checked me again. I was still 2.5cm dilated he said maybe 2.75cm, I was so upset, knowing I would probably have to have a c-section. But then he said I feel some scar tissue on your cervix, and so he scrapped it off, then he said you immediately went to 5cm. Dr. Will also said the scar tissue must of been from the LEEP procedure I had done in July 2013. Within an hour I was 10cm dilated !!! WOOOO But I was just so exhausted from the contractions and not sleeping well the past 2 days, I just rode out my contractions for another hour. I know that sounds silly, but I didn’t have the energy to push lol And I wanted to let Benton have his first child on Pi day. So at 12am on March 14, 2015 I started pushing, I pushed for 19 mins obviously when I had contractions and at 1219am Hawkston was born!!! Dr. Will let me tear naturally and every time the head was out he told me to stop pushing and so the head would rest on my vagina opening to stretch it. He said I only needed a fees stitches, which was great because with my first and second I had a episiotomy and got cut open from vagina to anus with both so I got a lot of stitches and it hurt a lot when sitting down.

I am so very glad Dr. Will felt the scar tissue and I was able to have a vaginally delivery, c-section is not something I want done, but obviously if that what needs to happen, but that it ok as well. 🙂